Destitutione
by frozencinders
Summary: What Yamaguchi felt was sure to have been all the disappointment in the world when he didn't even make it into the same university as Tsukishima.


At first, it had been disappointment.

"Ah, I won't be able to play volleyball with Tsukki for a while..."

It had quickly become more disappointment, urged on by mere consideration.

"Ah... I guess there's a good chance we'll never play again, actually..."

But what Yamaguchi felt was sure to have been all the disappointment in the world when he didn't even make it into the same university as Tsukishima.

"I won't be able to play with him anymore..." became "I won't be able to see him anymore...!"

Upon informing Tsukishima with his spirits noticably low, the blond had barely responded. It was as if Yamaguchi had just told him what he had for lunch rather than the heavy news that they would be separated sooner than later. It was at that point that Yamaguchi's disappointment must have reached its maximum potential.

As he attempted to come to terms with the situation, Yamaguchi wrote himself a list of things to tell Tsukishima before he would possibly never have the chance again. A few innocuous items were on the list, things Tsukishima had once asked about but Yamaguchi had never gotten around to telling him and even a few bands that he meant to recommend to the blond. Another more embarrassing item on the list would be that he meant to tell Tsukishima that he wished he'd cheered him on more during matches, as sometimes he would be overwhelmed by the excitement and forget to compliment him as often as he wanted to.

The most embarrassing item on the list by far, however, was written in red and circled three times.

"Tell Tsukki how I feel!"

As Yamaguchi walked home with Tsukishima for what would most likely be the last time, he had crossed everything out on that list except the one in red. He took a deep breath and briefly jogged ahead of Tsukishima from his position behind him only to stop in front of him. The blond stopped as well, tilting his head just slightly with uninterested eyes.

"I-I, uh... I just wanted to say... that... u-uh..." he stuttered and kept trailing off but he was _trying_ , he swore he was trying. He suddenly wanted to scream in frustration at how difficult just talking turned out to be. Taking another deep breath, Yamaguchi attempted to calm down as he ran the possible scenarios through his head.

Scenario #1:

 _"Tsukki! I love you!"_

 _"Shut up, Yamaguchi."_

Ah... that... was a pretty likely outcome, wasn't it?

Scenario #2:

 _"Tsukki, I just wanted to let you know... that you really are as beautiful as the moon! No, more beautiful! The moon is just a circle in the sky- or, uh, I guess it's not a circle sometimes, but still! You're way better than that!"_

 _"Shut up, Yamaguchi."_

Alright, to be fair, that confession wasn't a very good one. Probably don't use that one.

"Spit it out," Tsukishima said, narrowing his eyes as Yamaguchi was snapped out of his daze.

"I just... wanted to, uh... tell you to do your best! I-I hear university is stressful, so, m-maybe, uh..."

"You're going to university too," Tsukishima reminded, "you'll find out how stressful it is at the same time I will."

"Yeah! I mean... yeah..."

"What was it you really wanted to say?" Yamaguchi blinked. Had Tsukishima seen through him? It wasn't exactly a genius cover that he'd applied, but one does tend to start more easily under stress.

"What do you mean?" Yamaguchi asked, a feeble attempt at ditching his original intentions.

"That can't be it," the blond stated simply. The two stood there for what seemed like eternity before Yamaguchi could find his voice.

"N-no, no, I just... you're right, you know. We're both going, so... I'm worried, too! About myself, I mean... and you! Both of-"

Yamaguchi couldn't help but abandon his words as Tsukishima suddenly started leaning in close to his face, slowly tilting his head as he did so. Yamaguchi's breath caught in his throat as Tsukishima got closer only to change his course once their noses were less than an inch from touching.

"That's what you wanted," the blond whispered into his ear, "isn't it?"

"Y... yes." It wasn't as if Yamaguchi could bring himself to say no. He heard Tsukishima sigh slightly in his ear before pulling away, looking oddly smug. Before Yamaguchi could ask, Tsukishima moved past him slightly.

"I've always known," he said, continuing his walk as soon as the last word had left his lips. Yamaguchi turned around to see him waving and nearly followed him before he realized that they were meant to part ways to get to their respective homes at that area. If Yamaguchi could have possibly felt more disappointed, he would be none the wiser. It was simply numb for him at this point. He always knew? Did he ever once even consider that maybe he was misinterpreting Yamaguchi's feelings of friendship as something deeper? Or was he that conceited? ... What was he doing, insulting his best friend in his mind? Tsukishima had every right to be confident in addition to the fact that he was correct.

Yamaguchi turned and began the lonely walk to his house.

* * *

The rest of the night had been uneventful. He had dinner with his parents, took a shower, then attempted not to cry as he fell asleep. His assumingly dreamless sleep that must have barely lasted an hour was interrupted by a knock on his door. He sat up entirely too quickly, holding his head as it briefly punished him and didn't allow him to focus on what he recognized to be his mother's voice.

"Wh-what was that? I just woke up, sorry." He heard one of those lovingly exasperated mother huffs on the other side of the door.

"I said your friend is here to see you," she repeated, going ahead and assuming it was alright to open the door. Yamaguchi allowed his eyes to close as he yawned, listening as his mother shuffled away and someone else walked in. He kept them closed as a favor to his tired body until he heard the door squeak shut.

"Ts-Tsukki..." he barely managed to get out above a whisper, staring wide-eyed and in shock as Tsukishima _locked the door_ and shrugged the bag he'd been carrying off of his shoulder.

"You want to do something about it?" he asked, and Yamaguchi took a second to really think about what the blond could possibly have meant. Drawing a blank, he settled for looking away and meekly scratching his head rather than answering with words.

"You love me," Tsukishima reminded, as if he even needed a reminder, "so let's do something about it."

"Something? What's..." In what felt like an instant, the two of them were back in the situation they were the previous night. This time, however, Tsukishima stayed his course, landing a somehow surprisingly gentle kiss on Yamaguchi's lips. He'd been too stunned to react before the blond pulled away, so he hurriedly placed a hand on the back of Tsukishima's neck to keep him still. He inhaled deeply before initiating a kiss of his own, which Tsukishima immediately responded to.

"Three hours," Tsukishima mumbled, barely bothering to move away at all.

"Until... what?" Yamaguchi asked, quickly figuring out what he meant but allowing him to explain anyway.

"We have three hours to do anything we'd like to get out of our systems. Then I have to leave," Yamaguchi frowned, already feeling like crying again, "for now."

"Wait, for now?" Tsukishima hummed in affirmation.

"For now. It'll be a pain, but we'll keep in touch. Won't we?"

Yamaguchi wanted to excitedly yell something along the lines of "Do you even have to ask?!" but was interrupted by yet another kiss, followed by feeling himself be pushed back down into a laying position.

"We'll worry about a schedule later. For now-"

"Tsukki!" Yamaguchi suddenly yelled, unable to contain his excitement. He threw his arms around Tsukishima and hugged him with all his might, laughing as his glasses went crooked before the blond corrected them.

"Jeez, calm down," Tsukishima defused, settling for simply taking his glasses off. Yamaguchi allowed himself to stare at the rare sight of Tsukishima without his glasses and found himself overcome with joy once more at the thought that he'll likely be seeing it more often.

"I love you!"

"I know. I said you loved me before you even did, remember?"

"Exactly! I hadn't even said it yet, but you deserve to hear it! I love you so much!" Yamaguchi watched a light flush creep onto Tsukishima's face as he attempted to adjust his glasses that weren't on his face. The brunet couldn't help but laugh as Tsukishima gritted his teeth and glared over at his glasses as if they'd offended him somehow.

"Shut up, Tadashi."


End file.
